if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's never too late to be topless.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
