Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize