I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
