I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
