Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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