Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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