after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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