The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
