As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I am available for nakedness
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
