had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize