Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Randomize
