i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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