covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
