If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
