oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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