I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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