My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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