i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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