she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
