We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
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Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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