my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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