I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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