...so i touched it.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
