After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
