my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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