Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
