I got chris browned last night
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
