i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
