he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
