your thong is hanging out like whoa
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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