# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
