I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
