Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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