That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
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