So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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