i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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