You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
