Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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