i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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