just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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