I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
