I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
