Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.