You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀