he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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