Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
