yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Randomize
