I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
