How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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