I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
