Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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