I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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