Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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