I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
