Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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