u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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