dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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