I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
