I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
