this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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