I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
