Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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